How to waste time on productivity


Want to be really productive, but you’re not really keen on doing any actual work? Here are some tips on how to waste your time on productivity, rather than actually getting anything done.


Research productivity

Spend a while researching different productivity methods. Like the look of one? Do a little research into its origins.

Wikipedia is a great resource for this kind of unwork: A few minutes in and you’re already reading an article about the most notable features of an amusingly named town your new method’s inventor grew up in.

Once you’re satisfied with the inventor’s environment during his or her upbringing, you should do some research into the method itself. Does it have many rave reviews from productivity blogs? Has it been mentioned by any successful startup founders?


Try a new productivity method

Get good and hyped up about your new productivity method: Once this system is implemented it’ll be well worth the investment of time.

Methods that include some form of physical prop are by far the best kind at this stage. I mean, how can you be expected to get anything done before your method-tailored timer/notebook/guide has been delivered? Don’t worry about the price; the results will be life-changing, after all… Once you get round to ordering it.

Methods that are centred around a software package are OK, as long as they include a contrived set-up (such as retyping your entire to-do list). Applications with built-in reminder and/or deadline functions are acceptable as long as the targets you set yourself are optimistic to the point of being unachievable; allowing them to be safely ignored.


Subscribe to a productivity blog

If your new productivity method isn’t working out (or you haven’t got round to trying one), try subscribing to a productivity blog. The endless torrent of advice and reviews will keep you productively idle for many hours every week.

These blogs provide great material for filling your bookmark folders with articles for later review. You can even swamp your to-do list with droves of “must try out this new prod app…” and similar unwork tasks to provide decoys in case you later find yourself accidentally attempting to actually do any work from your to-do list.


Still looking for unwork?

Leave me a comment telling me about your best unwork tasks.

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